Narasis [Approved]

[Narasis]

NAME: Narasis
AGE: 18
HEIGHT: 5' 11"
WEIGHT: 144lbs
GENDER: Female
RACE: Sorcerer (shes a witch)
APPEARANCE: Long, pitch black hair, pale skin, tall, thin, and light green eyes
PERSONALITY: Sweet but will kill if she has to. She rarely payes attention to things she doesn't want to and hates directions. You can say she has ADD? This causes most spells to go haywire and blow up. Her defensive spells are perfect though.
BACKGROUND: Was orphaned at age 12 and ran away at age 14 because she hated her foster parents. She has no idea why her parents died. She doesn't even know where it happened. Her sister had died with her parents and her brother is away in collage. She is basicly on her own except her boss/friend Enna. She lives, now, in an apartment with Enna. She spends most of time, when not casging spells, trying to find out why her parents died. The only thing she knows is they were in the house when they were killed. She is currently finding out more.
ROLE PLAY: BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Narasis looked up in horror as the rocks were flung from the catapult. 'I'm late aren't I' she shouted to Enna, her boss. 'Um yeah you are' Enna said standing up straight. Narisis jogged over as another rock got flung at the school. 'Are you ready?' Enna asked. 'As I'll ever be' Narasis replied, 'So let's do this.' Narasis ran to the catapults that were set up to hit the enemy. Against orders she flung a rock and hit a catapult. 'Bo-ya!!!!!' Narasis yelled. 'Eslinger you weren't supposed to shoot' Enna whined. Narasis just rolled her eyes.
BREAKING POINT: Learning what happened to her parents
HP: 2/10
PHYSICAL ATTACK: 5/10
PHYSICAL DEFENSE: 10/10
SPECIAL ATTACK: 3/10
SPECIAL DEFENSE: 10/10
SPEED: 6/10
AGILITY: 4/10
SKILL: 4/10
ENERGY RESERVES/ STAMINA: 6/10
My character should be approved because she would be an intresting adition to the story line. If you give her a chance, she might not pay attention sometimes, she will be a great warrior. She is also my first character.

[Mina]

I'm not sure if you're done modifying, but there are a few things that I'd like to bring to your attention.

First, there's the height-weight ratio of Narasis. She is nearly six feet tall, and you say she is thin - but 100 lbs is very, very, VERY unhealthy for a tall young woman. This is well into the anorexic range. It is similar to seeing a 5'5 woman who weighs only eighty pounds - the current Narasis is far too skeletal. If the weight you typed in was a mistake (I'm thinking it is?), then just make the weight more reasonable, and remember to check for reasonable BMI using a BMI calculator, if you're unsure. :3

Also, there are multiple classes of sorcerers. If you go to this link - flyingasparagus.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=classes&action=display&thread=181 - you'll be able to choose from a few different types. Keep in mind that the planeswalker classes are not available, however, upon character creation.

The roleplay sample - most of it was fine, just remember to try to stay consistent in tense~ :3

Also, this isn't important at all, but did you perhaps mean Narasis hated her foster parents? Not step parents? Again, this isn't really an issue, just me being a tad confused. x3

Hope this helps! Once you're done modifying, we'll check it over again.

[Narasis]

Sorry that was a mistake... I fixed it according to what you said. I didn't quite get what was wrong with the role play though so I left it.